


Childhood's Ends

by TooYoungToFeelThisTired



Series: What if? [45]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Conversations, Discussion of Abortion, Eventual Romance, F/M, Feelings, Fiveya Week 2020, Friends to Lovers, He may be your father but he's not your daddy, Kid Fic, Leonard Peabody is mentioned, No incest if you understand Fiveya, Number Five | The Boy in a Teenage Body, Number Five | The Boy in an Adult Body, Older Woman/Younger Man, Post-Season/Series 01, Psychological Trauma, Reginald Hargreeves is mentioned, Sibling Bonding, Some Humor, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya's POV, fiveya - Freeform, woman's right to choose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooYoungToFeelThisTired/pseuds/TooYoungToFeelThisTired
Summary: Vanya is faced with a difficult decision about her future and past. Prompt: Childhood- 3.11.2020
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: What if? [45]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1313192
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	Childhood's Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything
> 
> Fiveya week 2020 Day 3: Childhood

The more she thought about it, it could have been a perfect punishment or the perfect reward. Something that could have happened only to her and only because of what she did and what was done to her. Some nights she would accept that she deserved it while others, she would wonder. Maybe it wasn't a punishment or a reward, maybe it was just something that happened. Maybe it was a gift. Gifts could be pleasant and welcoming or cruel and insulting. However, only rarely could they be returned or left unaccepted.

Vanya didn't sleep that night thinking about gifts and things that people received without asking for them. Could they become something they always wanted? Could people grow to love them? When did people cross that line of getting something they never expected to receive and finding it to be one of the most important things in their lives?

Vanya wondered all night and early morning as she got up, got dressed, and left her apartment ignoring the red light on her answering machine that indicated someone left her a message. There were days she would lighten up at the possibility of someone calling her. _Anyone_. Someone from work? Her siblings? Some long time forgotten almost friend? But today she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone and tried to keep her mind focus for now.

The ride in the subway was a long one. She didn't want to go anywhere near her place, work, or her family's house. She needed to go somewhere where she would minimize the chances of meeting anyone she knew. It was already overwhelming just to go to the place in the first place.

The subway was full as it would have been in the early morning.

Vanya scanned her surroundings, the people sitting and standing around. Mostly people who were heading off to work, or students old enough to use public transportation to school. Close to her was a woman with a toddler on the phone trying to balance putting his shoe back on while talking to someone.

Vanya managed to successfully tune her words out focusing on the child as he kept on glancing somewhere to the front with a calm look on his face. She didn't know if he was a small child or not or how old he could be. Despite being an aunt, she never even met her niece, and as strange as it might sound throughout her whole life, she was never in any real contact with any kids.

When his eyes shifted to Vanya's, she looked away and focused again on counting the stops she needed to go through before she would have to get off.

It felt like ages since she finally got there her whole body growing tired just from the long ride in the subway. It was strange, and she wondered if she could ride it off as one of the symptoms. Until now, she was always wide awake whenever she used the bus or subway but that could have been because she was too afraid to leave her violin unattended, always on the lookout just in case.

Seeing the building didn't fill her with the relief she hoped for when she looked up the address. It didn't fill her with anything. It was just a building not a shiny beacon of hope that all of this would make sense or cause her to feel better or _right_ for that matter somehow.

Her hand sank into the pocket of her hoodie catching the small bottle of pills. At least she knew they were still there if she needed them. She was trying to cut off though. Just for a while.

'Shame on you!'

Vanya stopped in track shocked to see there were a man and a woman standing on the sidewalk in front of the building looking at her. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice them there in the first place.

'Abortion is murder!' spoke the woman again causing Vanya to blink realizing what she was talking about in the first place.

Her eyes fell on the signs they were holding with their words written with large letters and pictures of two chubby looking babies.

She wasn't sure what to say to all of that feeling like maybe she could have gotten away if she just acted like they weren't talking to her.

Without a single word she started to walk to the main entrance ignoring whatever shouts they offered her on her way, focusing on pushing the door into the building. Maybe she could pass it all as just a part of a bizarre dream. Her head did feel a bit light as she walked the hallway toward the reception.

The shiver that ran through her back was just caused by how bright and white the place appeared nothing more. She could do this. She took a pill that morning and felt more than sedated throughout the entire walk over. It was still a bit surreal inside her mind.

The nurse at the main desk greeted her with a calm look on her face that felt like the direct opposite of the greeting she got outside before she entered. It made Vanya think just how many women came through this woman that she herself felt numbed to another person's arrival.

Vanya sat down and looked around. There were some posters about pro-choice, health care, and other medical things she would expect to see in a place like this. Everything felt strangely relaxing and welcoming, guilt-free even which the longer she sat there had a different result as Vanya began to nervously pull the trim on her hoodie not sure if she wanted to rip it out or not yet.

When the nurse called out her name to make her go into one of the examination rooms, Vanya suddenly felt sick to her stomach as if the nurse wanted to lock her up the same way Luther did not so long ago.

_It will pass. It's just nerves. It's nothing really._

She tried to shake it off and walk on her own inside, but the moment she made the first step sudden exhaustion and nausea overcame her body and forced her to her knees with a sudden outburst of heavy tears, she couldn't contain.

'Miss Hargreeves are you alright?' she heard the nurse ask distantly, but couldn't convince herself to do more than to shake her head before she felt a pair of hands over her shoulders pulling her up with them, 'Let's go.'

'Five-'

* * *

Sitting on a bench in silence with her long-lost brother brought Vanya a bit out of the mist of her own thoughts and feelings probably for the first time in days.

It was still strange to see him, even more so to see him looking the way he was inside a body of the boy he once was with the only indication of the man he became over the years hidden behind his eyes that no longer carry the innocence and curiosity of a child, 'Did you follow me?'

He nodded without a single hint of regret or apology. He never seemed to be very apologetic about his choices especially if he believed that they were important and right. As a child, Vanya envied his confidence. She supposed it was because of the way she was raised apart from the others always reminded of being different and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. She wished she was as bold as the others, without doubts always making her decisions and choices not constantly thinking and overthinking everything.

'You weren't answering anyone's calls and canceled work.'

_I got worried._

She looked in front of them. She could have been annoyed, angry even that he followed her and invaded her life like this after so many years, but with the pills and given all she let herself feel and think about, Vanya just felt _tired._

The park was mostly empty. The weather was a bit cold for picnics or days out with the kids and pets. It was quiet. It was easier to think and breathe like this in the fresh air with no one around.

Vanya felt oddly relieved about it, 'I just…I just wanted to know my options.'

He nodded for a moment taking in a deep breath as if preparing himself for a big speech before he looked at her, 'Do you know how long?'

'Three weeks…I guess it was during the last time me and Leon-Harold…yeah,' she cut herself off feeling awkward for some reason that Five of all people was the first one to hear about it. She should have talked to Allison…but it was hard. Talking to everyone was hard. They were nowhere near fixed. They were nowhere near a family, and Vanya felt stranded on an island close to their islands but without a boat to get there.

He nodded to himself again no doubt thinking, counting, calculating, and rethinking everything he knew, everything he could use, everything that needed to be thought of, 'So that's why you refused the training and your powers?'

She bit her lip hard enough to cause a cut before she said nervously thankful for the fresh air or else she would be back to the sobbing mess she was a while ago, 'I…don't know. I don't know…what I'm doing yet, but…I guess I want to leave all my options open, and I don't want to risk doomsday by being hormonal so…Shit, I don't even know if the pills are good for the…'

She looked over at him with a shrug not able to bring herself to say it out loud yet. Saying it out loud made it real. It was real. She knew that. It wasn't a hypothetical situation. It was a fact that was happening even if she didn't feel it. But somehow if she said it out loud she would…she didn't know, but she didn't want to say it out loud yet. Not just yet at least.

Five watched her in a calm way, that he did ever since they were kids. It made her feel a bit better about it all. It made her feel like it wasn't a bizarre numbing dream and as scary as it was, it was better to feel the sharp reality of it all than to be sedated the way she was all her life.

Five felt good. Solid. Real. Real was good. Especially since she was going through gaps in her life and memories realizing how much had been taken from her because of the pills. Not just her powers, not just the possibility of a better life both past and future, but her memories as well. She always thought it was just her being forgetting or too much inside her head failing to notice what was really going on inside her, but with adding time with fewer pills, Vanya started to realize it wasn't true. The pills just pushed any memory they labeled as _too much_ away. Sad, happy, angry, and everything that could interfere with her emotions and powers was reduced to a distant memory like she was looking at it through water not really able to look or hear anything.

No one should hold such power over a child. No one should be able to crush the spirit of a child with words like that and make it feel so horribly bad about itself, it feels like they died a bit inside. And yet parents always seem to hold such power, don't they?

'You still got time to think. I can…you could tell Allison. I'm sure, she will have no problem to go with you to the clinic,' he finished quickly looking away maybe thinking he was crossing a line if he would suggest himself, maybe not really capable of being that person for her altogether.

It caused Vanya's heart to ache to know that they fell apart so profoundly that they seemed to be on different sides of the planet now impossible to reach.

'Yeah, I just…'

'If that's what you want,' he glanced at her with a perfect mask hiding his own thoughts from her the same way he did when she came to apologize after he left her apartment that first night. How different everything might have been if he stayed, 'Your reaction wasn't the most pro-abortion one.'

The word caused a shiver through her body. It was just a word like any other, yet this one was a taboo word filled with disgust caused by the media and society and moral standards. Words held power but oddly only the bad ones seemed to cause such strong reactions in people now a day, not the good ones. It was different when strangers said it out loud and when someone whose opinion she cared for as much as Five's did.

She shook her head trying to explain it even if she couldn't. If she went through with it, she would be marked as a person who had an abortion. A person who although not many would say it out loud, they would view as a traitor, murder, someone stupid who should have known better. A person who lost her dignity and innocence in the manner. She would become _that person_.

Vanya looked at Five, her eyes focusing on his green ones. If the sun hit them right they could look the same as they did when they were kids sparkling with pride and joy about her new achievement in music with her violin. But today it was mostly cloudy, so all they showed was the man, she once could have seen growing up but not anymore.

'I don't know if I'm ready,' she said still looking into his eyes as if it would be easier than at the rest of him when his face was this young, this childlike-, 'and, I might hate myself if I go through with it, but I know I would _hate_ myself forever if I have it and ruined its childhood. But I can't guarantee that I wouldn't. I'm not perfect or maternal. I'm not like Allison. And the circumstances are all kinds of wrong not to mention everything with my powers and dad… And it would be _his_ too if by some miracle it doesn't get all the bad and neurotic stuff from me what will it get from him?'

Five listened to her without interruptions proving to be once again her best listener despite how everyone always said he couldn't listen or pay attention to anyone's speeches but himself. He was never like that with her. With her, he listened. With her, he could be quiet and allow her to say what she needed to say. With her, he was always good at being a good brother, friend, confidant. With her, he was always different than with the others.

It felt like forever until he finally spoke slower and quieter than before, 'I don't think you could ever ruin anyone's childhood the way dad did ours, Vanya. Besides, if you would choose to keep it, I know you would provide it with the best childhood imaginable. You could be a great mother.'

'You can't know that,' she said shaking her head. Five was just being a good brother like always seeing the good in her, the image of his dear innocent little sister who would never hurt a fly imprinted into his mind.

His voice was steady carrying more weight than before, 'You're a good person, Vanya.' They both knew he didn't just mean what happened with the apocalypse.

'Being a good person doesn't make you a good parent,' she said quickly her eyes looking away for a moment trying not to feel so guilty all of the sudden.

'Perhaps not,' he nodded and looked in front of himself for a moment before he glanced back at her and continue, but I know how you act and take care of people and things you love. violin. If you think you will feel at least half that love toward it, I know you will bless it with a good childhood and life,' he said still looking at her a hint of a smile playing across him mouth which made him look damn young almost like a real thirteen-year-old.

She hugged him on an impulse burying her face and soft quiet tears into his shoulder wondering when did he get so tall.

He didn't say anything else, just held her in the cold weather on a bench in a park far away from their home or anyone they knew like any brother or good friend would, but it was different. It was Five, and he was a lot of things, but she supposed a pat on the head would have been the best would get from him if she wasn't the one holding onto him so tightly for her dear life. Still, he held her, and she felt revealed as she could breathe again. It was the first time in the past three days since she found out that she felt somewhat close to _better_.

It felt good being held by Five like this.

* * *

He took her home quietly measuring her pace allowing her to think. Five was always good in that. He could ramble like a madman for hours, but if she needed silence he could offer that as well. It was better this way for her. It helped her to focus her thoughts and feelings not just of the past few days but of today as well.

It felt good to be in his company again. In anyone's company.

'Would you like something to eat or drink?' she asked, and he waved his hand at her jumping to her kitchen, 'Sit, I can make tea and coffee.'

Sighing, she sat down on the couch, 'I'm not sick you know just…'

'We can call you sick if that would make you feel better,' he called working his way around the small place like he own it or had been a common visitor to it many times. He did so the first night as well moving around _her_ place with a certain entitlement unlike her he received from his uprising as the favorite child.

'Thanks,' she said as he sat the mug at her small coffee table before taking the seat in her chair, the same one as that first night, 'Sorry, I didn't believe you. That first night maybe if I had-'

'Would you try to stop me? Protect me?' he asked with a grin a bit too sharp. He was upset. She could tell.

Shaking her head, she leaned closer to him, 'I would have been a better…sister.'

The corner of his lips screwed even sharper threatening to cut her if she tried to touch them, touch him, 'A better friend…we used to be close, and I let my…It's stupid, you know?'

'What?'

She chuckled and brushed some of the hair behind her ear, 'We grew up with a non-human butler and robotic Mom. You had powers, and could do all these things proving that _anything_ was possible, and yet I couldn't…I just couldn't accept your word for it. I don't know-'

'Would you have if I didn't tell you were ordinary?' he asked cutting her off. The question caused her to lean away from him against the couch glancing at her hands, 'You think I did it on purpose. You hurt me, I hurt you?'

Five's cruel look softened completely, his eyes revealing regret before his mouth offered the apocalypse, 'No, I'm sorry-'

'But maybe it's true,' she admitted stealing a small glance at him to see if he would look worried, upset, or put on that mask he could use so well around her, 'Maybe that's what a ruined childhood makes of you, a vengeful person who can only hurt people back to make herself feel better. Not exactly motherly.'

'You didn't hurt Allison on purpose,' he said with all the calmness in the world, making her almost believe him, almost.

'You don't know-'

'I know you,' He said firmly like it was the only truth in the whole wide world, 'You got upset and lost control. I know what it's like. We all do. The difference is that when it happens to us we strike instantly. Someone pisses me off, I hurt them in the next moment and let it go or end them. You?' he looked her up and down with his clever eyes probably analyzing everything from her increased breathing to how many days it was since she last washed her hair, 'You keep it in. Boil it up because you're too nice, or try to act like you're too nice and too small and too invisible until you just can't anymore and you burst. A perfect bomb.'

She swallowed for a moment not sure what to say to such observation, 'I guess. Yeah, I guess that's…true'

He watched her for a moment before he reached out and took her hand in his again, his hands were surprisingly warm while hers felt cold. Always so damn cold, 'But it's bullshit. Nature vs. nurture. What happens to us can end with us. It doesn't have to be pushed on anyone else. Dad made us… he wanted soldiers for his army to fight the apocalypse and whatnot. He wanted us to be something. _He wanted._ '

'I feel like you're advocating for-'

'I don't want you to regret anything,' he said quickly, 'It's up to you. _Jesus_ , who else? And yeah, it's…that dead fucker was a murderer so maybe it would be for the best not to risk it, but, Vanya,' he looked into her eyes making her forget about what they even were talking about with how intensely green they were in that moment, 'I don't want you to make that decision based on fear, or doubts, or low self-esteem. You should only make it on your own sane mind and judgment and feelings. Fuck everything else.'

She shivered not able to look away, 'It's not that simple, Five.'

He squeezed her hand tighter, grounding her, 'It is. If you could just…see yourself…,' his mouth made a sound of air leaving it, but no words followed.

'How?' she asked in a heartbeat not realizing when did they get so close.

Five looked more conflicted than ever his confidence almost less than an illusion before he blinked confessing to a weakness, 'Like I see you.'

A part of her was twisting in desperation begging her lips to open and ask _how? How do you see me? How do I look through your eyes?_ While the other was begging her to keep them shut afraid of what more it could all mean.

When the stupid phone rang they both jump in their seats almost as if they were caught which given how sweaty and hot Vanya's cheeks felt, they might as well have.

She glanced at the stupid landline before she walked over sighing, 'It's probably someone from the house.'

Five took the mug, 'You should answer. They're worried.'

'Didn't you tell them you're following me?' she asked him confused, but he shrugged his shoulders, 'I didn't know what you were dealing with. Either way, if you didn't want them to know it wasn't any of their business.'

She swallowed fixing her shirt as if she needed to, trying to find her composure and look less guilty before she picked up the phone.

'Hello?'

* * *

'I'm pregnant.'

Vanya knew she could have chosen a better time to bring it up than in the middle of another Hargreeves argument with Luther holding onto Diego's shirt collar while the other brother was trying to stab him, Klaus clapping excitedly, Five pointing at them saying they _literally_ didn't have time for this, Allison trying to break them apart while still not able to talk, and Ben probably ghostly standing nearby watching them thinking their all _idiots_.

However, most of the time all of them were together like this was only when they were arguing about something, so it wasn't like she had much of a choice in that manner. Not to mention after spending the last two days trying to work up the nerve to say it out loud, no way she was doing it four times (she assumed Ben would be around Klaus if she decided to do it like that – which she didn't).

It took her a while to get there, but ultimately, she came to the decision that all her life, all her adult life even after she left the house, she was still a puppet on Reginald's strings living her life as small as possible with the only exception the publishing of her book. Trying to stay as far away from the spotlight as possible. Trying to shrink into herself, to be become invisible, to erase her own existence in the name of not being a part of the academy and not causing it any embarrassment. She managed to break free once with the book. Her sole decision that had never anything to do with dad or the others even if it circled around them. It was still her story to tell. Her side of things. Her point of view. Maybe the others didn't approve, some felt anger, some betrayal, some didn't care, and one genuinely _liked_ it. When her powers came to life for that brief moment when she caused everything to burst out from her chest and fly around, she felt like for the first time she was the only in control over her future and life and past. _Her._ It made her feel on top of the world in more ways than one. Whatever was holding her back, her mistakes, her powers, Harold's past and crimes, dad and their fucked up childhood, meant nothing in the end. She couldn't be a slave to any of those things. She refused to be one again. Damn it, she refused to be, and it was mainly thanks to what Five said to her who now looked just as surprised as the others for a second before his face became a perfect mask.

Just like that everything seemed to stop for about ten seconds with everyone carrying a different kind of shocked expression on their face looking at her. Growing up, Vanya would have given anything for that kind of attention from her siblings, but at the moment, she rather they would look at someone else since she felt crowded with their gazes on her.

'Uh, what?' Luther asked first letting go of Diego which caused him to stumble backward almost falling on his ass which didn't seem to bother him as he was still looking shocked and confused.

She looked over at their former Number One and nodded trying to appear more confident this time, 'I'm pregnant, and I'm keeping it.'

Just like that things came unfroze with Luther and Klaus started to talk over each other at the same time while Diego watched her still like a fish out of water, and Allison came to pull her into the tightest hug.

She tried to smile or grimace at her to show her gratitude before she looked around the room realizing Five had left. Her disappointment was short-lived as Klaus came in front of her face telling her how much amazing his name was only to be shoved aside by Allison shaking her head and trying to gesture it really wasn't.

Not that Vanya knew how it would have gone, but she supposed it went better than she hoped somewhat.

'Also there were four convicted murders by the name of Klaus, wouldn't that tip the scales in my favor?' he asked her earning an elbow into the side from Allison, and Luther to give him a look while Vanya trying to brush the whole thing off.

Maybe she hoped for too much.

Her eyes wandered to the place Five was standing a moment ago wondering what would he say to her chose, as their talk was left without a conclusion the last time they were alone together and since then, he never brought it up again, and neither did she. Vanya hoped his absence wasn't a sign of his disapproval over her decision. Especially since it was he who convinced her the most in the end. She would hate it if he only said all those things to smooth her worries, but didn't really…

She would hate it if it turned out to be another thing and decision where they fell apart. She was already so exhausted by their distance.

Luckily Five showed up three days later looking like he hadn't slept in ages stealing the coffee right out of her hand in the kitchen where she was making one, 'Caffeine is bad for the fetus.'

'It's decaf,' she said too late as he already took a sip and groaned seemingly like the world was about to end all over again just by him not having his proper energy boost.

She chuckled feeling some of the tension that haunted her in the back of her mind melt away just by having him back around her, 'Where have you been?'

'Making arrangements,' he replied and set the mug down before looking at her his eyes profoundly green today reminding her of the old days, 'You have to stay on the pills for now. I double-checked they won't affect the fetus, and they will keep your powers surprised throughout the hormonal road trip of pregnancy.'

She blinked wondering if that was why their oldest youngest-looking brother disappeared in the first place, 'I will.'

'I would also recommend having a C-section,' he blinked aside grabbing a new mug probably to make himself a proper coffee this time, 'I already programmed mom up for the task.'

Vanya blinked surprised to hear that, 'Is that why you-'

'You're going to be okay,' he looked down at her with the confidence only he could possess and a calm smile, 'You won't be alone. It will be alright. I promise.'

The honesty and seriousness of his words caused her both to feel calm and nervous, 'What stole a peek into the future to see how it would all turn out?'

He grimaced, 'No, thanks. I'm done time traveling for good.'

Her smile fell and she pressed her hand against his elbow, 'Five, you-'

His hand covered hers, and it surprised her just how long his fingers were getting making her wonder when did he started to grow again in the first place, 'I meant that I'm not leaving you again.'

She opened her mouth to say something else but what she didn't know. His statement as nice and touching as it was, wasn't really something she could process lightly in that or any other moment at least not right now when she was still processing and getting familiar with everything. It felt the same as it did a couple of days ago in her apartment but in a way different less heavy, and frightening.

She swallowed looking a bit away before she smiled to herself, 'Thanks. It would make you a sucky uncle.'

'Hardly, have you seen the competition?' he joked and turned away from her to finish his coffee. It made her feel surprisingly warm knowing that maybe they could find a way back to each other, the way they used to as kids.

* * *

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day if they ever had ones, to begin with. Somewhere between the training, psychological abuse, charades of who they were, studies, discipline, tears, sleepless nights, wounds, harsh words, betrayal, abandonment, mockery pieces of what could have been called a childhood slipped through allowing them to experience the joys in a way only kids could. They were small, far between, a secret they shared with each other but never with the adults even if often the lines between who was a child and who adult blurred between each other.

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day with a sharp sound of the knife hitting the table and a final glance instead of goodbye and death and destruction in the wasteland without any escape.

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day with both of them torn from one another for seemingly eternity even if only a decade and four had passed.

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day with empty rooms and an empty world both filled with heavy silence that threatened to rip their ears with its horrible sound.

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day which was fitting if you could see the quiet private smiles and glances, hesitant touches, and words of praise they always carried for each other.

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day with only a dull pain inside their chest a permanent reminder until their last dying breath of what they had and what they could have had…or so they thought.

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended…

For Five and Vanya their childhoods ended on the same day a long time ago, but for Vanya's son in just began…

'Do you have a name yet? Because-'

'Klaus, knock it off,' warned him Diego, and Vanya couldn't help but laugh far too loudly. It was probably the pills. Everyone was inside the room, even Ben looking at the little baby asleep in mom's arms at the moment oblivious to the world around it.

_Her perfect little boy._

_Her child._

'Jamie, well, James, but Jamie for short,' she said feeling exhausting trying to take her away, but catching the surprised look on Five's eyes.

Klaus and Diego didn't seem to notice at first, and mom maybe didn't care too focused on the newborn, but Allison raised her brows and Luther turned to Five both all too well remembering that exciting day they all couldn't wait to hear their names, 'Do you mind?'

'No,' said Five, all too quickly before he coughed a bit composing himself, 'It's not like I use it anyway.'

She smiled and closed her eyes immediately falling asleep maybe only imaging hearing Klaus's question and Diego's answer.

_'Hey, don't think that makes you the best uncle or anything.'_

_'It makes him the daddy-'_

* * *

'Childhood ends when you reach puberty, mum,' said Jamie casually as he was on his way outside to play basketball with his friend in the yard.

He got taller again. Taller than her of course, much to her annoyance and everyone else's amusement. The second tallest kid in his class. She was glad. She didn't like being small and cute as they said, she learned to live with it.

'Well, in that case, I hope you had a good one,' she said while making the coffee for her and Five the way he liked it to avoid any crankiness. It was a ritual of sorts. Always make coffee for the two of them any time of day. Whenever she had one, she made one for him as well. A habit nurtured throughout the years they lived together.

Jamie let the ball bounced one time over the floor earning an annoyed sound from Vanya for a second before she continued to work not really paying much attention to the boy at the moment, 'I guess.'

When she did turn to look at him all of the sudden, she remembered that ridiculous conversation she had with Five.

Jamie chuckled, 'Relax, mum.'

He didn't look much like Leonard. No. Luther said he looked like her but more boyish, but whenever they went somewhere together people, strangers who didn't know the whole story would say he looked like his father eyeing the younger than her looking man with envy or praise. Allison would go so far as to claim, Five did _something_ to make Jamie look more like him than Harold. If he knew how Vanya wouldn't be surprised if he had though. But either way, it was pointless.

'With you, dad and aunty and uncles, how can anyone had anything but an extraordinarily-'

She groaned and rolled her eyes, before he finished, 'happy childhood?' he asked with a smirk, and in the moment more than his words what surprised her was just how impossibly identical he looked like a Five before he left as if he was his own indeed. She always heard and smile at the idea, but that moment with her son smirking that way, she could see it clearer than ever.

His smirk melted into a smile as he waved at her and took the ball outside, 'Don't worry about it, mum.'

The door closed behind him with his footsteps slowly distancing himself from the house altogether.

She remained standing there for a moment thinking about it the corner of her lips pulling into a smile on their own until Five came downstairs and took his mug, 'Thanks, Vanya.'

She looked over at him. He was older. Of course, he was. She was an old lady, and he aged a lot growing a beard and wearing glasses just to appear even older. Of course, he wasn't anywhere near his close age if you didn't count his grumpiness. But all in all, he was aged to the man he always should have been. He aged well, and she couldn't believe how much time had passed.

'Our son just said he had a good childhood,' she said watching the reaction on Five's face. There was a sudden pause but not shock that crossed it before he smirked just like Jamie did a minute ago, 'Well, I would hope so. We busted our asses that he would have a better one than we did.'

The next thing she knew was that she was pushing the coffee out of his hand into the counter and forcing her lips against his in a heated and urgent kiss surprised she was capable of such after almost fourteen years.

Always quick to adapt to a situation, Five remained shocked for a second before he pinned her against the counter burying his fingers into her hair and pushing the kiss even deeper, even further, even higher making her forget all about what they were talking about in the first place.

He let her go for air briefly, but only to kiss her again seeming even more feverishly and passionately making her cling to him for dear life.

The second time he let her go he calmly took a hold of his coffee and casually started to sip it with the only indication of what just happened between them his pants, red and swollen lips, messed up hair, and the amusement and happiness behind his eyes.

'Let me finish this, and then let's go upstairs,' he said, and Vanya knew if she wasn't before now, she was blushing madly.

'Jamie's outside,' she said weakly not even sure what that had to do with anything, but Five just leaned closer to her the smell of coffee so lovely and typical of him it made her heartbeat arise all over again, 'But that's how parents do it, my dear. They find moments for themselves in between raising their children.'

He finished the coffee so quickly she wasn't sure he didn't burn his throat in the process before he took her hand and lead her upstairs. She once again like many times before watched his back and noted just how he grew. His body was almost the age hers was when he first came back. Older, more mature, not giving anyone a reason to call him a _boy_ or _child_ again. He was a handsome man, and she was an older woman. He didn't kiss her like one though.

Vanya smiled to herself.

It felt like an end of a childhood a good one. She was grateful to finding closure and universal justice that her own wasn't a good one if it meant Jamie's was.

For Five and Vanya, their childhoods ended on the same day. It was a sad day.

For their son, his childhood ended on a much happier note.

**Author's Note:**

> A.N: Happy Fiveya Week 2020 everyone :) Thank you for reading and your support. I hope everyone is going okay and staying safe. Uh, I hope I didn't offend or hurt anyone with the beginning, but it was something I just needed to write about as to intro to Vanya's conflict about having and raising a child when your own childhood was shitty since that is something I wonder about a lot. But as always people feel and think about things differently so this was just my point of view anyone can have their own opinion and choice :) Have a lovely day.


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